The Chronicle
Latest dispatches
98 results across all types
- podcast· 1h 46m· S5E305
CASE 0516: Turtle Power!
DEFENDANT: Leonardo DaVinci EVIDENCE: DaVinci Pinot Grigio SCENE OF THE CRIME: Renaissance Italy -- Hey friend — come hang out with us for a delightfully silly, slightly spicy stroll through art, wine, and history. We’re sipping an easy Pinot Grigio, dreaming up melon-and-prosciutto pizzas, and taking Leonardo da Vinci on tour: his notebooks, love life rumors, flying machines, and that massive (now-ruined) horse project. We gossip about museum wine nights, the chaos of the Louvre, and Michelangelo’s beef about buff bodies — all while drinking, cracking jokes, and treating the past like our most dramatic friend. If you love cozy, chatty episodes that blend pop-culture riffs with art history, this one’s for you: we mix tasting notes (pear, green apple, underripe honeydew), travel stories, and scandalous little details about Renaissance Italy (including sodomy charges, apprentices, and sketchy patrons). It’s like eavesdropping on two pals at the museum bar. Pull up a chair, pour a glass,
- podcast· 20:03· Ep 304
Sidebar Ep.137: Moors, Manors & Midnight Secrets: A Beginner’s Guide to Gothic Fiction
Hey — let’s talk Gothic. If you loved the Wuthering Heights episode but aren’t sure what “Gothic” means, here’s a friendly, no‑pressure rundown: it’s a literary vibe that exploded in the late 1700s and early 1800s (part of Romanticism) and stuck around because people couldn’t get enough of spooky mystery, big feelings, and weird houses. At its core Gothic mixes suspense and the supernatural with secrets from the past: ghosts (or things that feel like ghosts), hidden diaries or cursed heirlooms, murmured scandals, and the sense that history is still very much alive — and maybe angry. Stories often leave the door open between a rational explanation and the uncanny, so you’re always wondering what’s real. The setting matters: remote, isolated places—windy moors, stormy cliffs, spooky woods, and usually a grand but slightly crumbling manor. That atmosphere of beauty plus decay is basically Gothic’s aesthetic fingerprint. Protagonists are frequently women, which made these books especially
- podcast· 1h 51m· S5E303
CASE 0516: I Think Big Bird Is Drunk...
DEFENDANT: PBS Kids! EVIDENCE: A to Z Wineworks Chardonnay SCENE OF THE CRIME: A TV near you! -- Hey friend — grab a glass and settle in! In this cozy episode of True Crimes Against Wine, Judge Topher and Judge Rachel pair a bright, stainless-steel A to Z Oregon Chardonnay with a nostalgic deep-dive into PBS Kids. Expect lots of nostalgic tangents (Lisa Frank stickers, slap bracelets, and wishbone adventures), a warm appreciation for Sesame Street, Arthur, Reading Rainbow and more, plus a fun celebrity pop-quiz about famous folks who popped up on kids’ programming. We chat about the wine's fresh pineapple, pear, and apple notes, why it's a perfect picnic pick, and how A to Z Wineworks' women-led, sustainability-focused mission makes sipping feel extra great. Then we get delightfully nostalgic — from Mr. Rogers and Carmen Sandiego to Ghostwriter, Dragon Tales and the many ways PBS taught curiosity, empathy and real-world smarts. It's casual, silly, and heartfelt: think spirited wine tas
- podcast· 12:30· Ep 301
Sidebar Ep. 136: Bridgerton’s New Whisper: Lady Whistledown Returns (But Not Who You Think)
Hey, friend — we just finished hashing out the latest Bridgerton season and had too many thoughts not to share. Part one felt overly familiar, like a direct nod to Cinderella, but give it time: the second half finds its footing with sharper plotting, satisfying sleuthing, and some welcome emotional payoffs (yes, Sophie and Benedict get their moment). The season leans hard into Queen Charlotte’s boredom, Penelope’s hard-won choices, and a sneaky new Lady Whistledown reveal that throws everything wide open — cue the credits read by a surprise voice. Eloise’s storyline is the one we’re most hyped about for the future; we’re quietly rooting for her to break the mold, choose herself (or maybe a woman), and even become a swashbuckling travel writer. Honestly, bring on season five with Eloise center stage. If you’re looking for juicy erotic peaks like earlier seasons, this one’s tamer, but it’s still a gorgeous binge: the costumes, soundtrack, sets, and cheeky drama make it perfect for half-w
- podcast· 2h 25m· S5E299
CASE 0515: Shhh! It's a Secret
DEFENDANT: Frances Hodgson Burnett EVIDENCE: Secret Garden Rose Gin SCENE OF THE CRIME: The moors, darling, the moors! -- Hi — come sit with us while we get a little giddy and a lot floral. In this episode of True Crimes Against Wine we test a rosy Scottish gin called Secret Garden, riff on three garden-ready cocktails (a Rose Garden Spritz, a Strawberry Smash, and a Lavender-Lemon Stroll), and wander straight into the moody, magical world of Frances Hodgson Burnett's The Secret Garden. We talk sparkling cava vs prosecco, muddled berries, honey-lavender syrup, and why mint on the rim is a total game-changer, then break down why this hundred-year-old story still makes our hearts ache — the visuals, the soundtrack, the gothic elements, and yes, the complicated colonial moments that deserve honest conversation. Bring a glass, bring a friend, and get ready for springtime vibes, serious giggles, and a few tender asides about loss, literature, and why a secret garden is the best kind of ther
- podcast· 20:41· Ep 298
Sidebar Ep. 135: Paranormal Activity
SpOoOoky episode; listen if you dare! 👻👻👻
- podcast· 2h 21m· S5E296
CASE 0514: Shaken, Not Stirred
DEFENDANT: Agent 007, Commander James Bond EVIDENCE: Martinis SCENE OF THE CRIME: Our Secret Lair -- Hey friend — grab a glass and settle in. In this episode we put the martini itself on trial: from the citrus-bright Vesper to a garden-fresh basil-cucumber twist, plus a yuzu-matcha surprise that doubles as our truth serum. We sip, argue, and nerd out about James Bond — the actors, the gadgets, the infamous "shaken, not stirred" debate, and the songs that make you feel like walking into a slow-motion title card. Expect cozy banter, a few too many martinis, pop-culture tidbits, and lots of affectionate teasing (and yes, some of that classic Bond misogyny and other problematic bits get called out). Whether you love Shirley Bassey, are Team Vesper, or just here for the gossip about which Bond almost died/was recast/played by a model who conned his way into a role — we’ve got you. We keep it casual — like a long conversation with a friend who brought cocktails and way too many fun facts. If
- podcast· 17:09· Ep 295
People's Court Ep. 05: Am I the Gynecologist?
Hi, welcome to another episode of True Crimes. Against wine. We're doing a people\u2019s court today. The story: two 26-year-olds, six years together. Early on, she was diagnosed with vaginismus — a medical condition that made penetration impossible despite physiotherapy and dilators. For years, they tried oral and manual sex, but over time his desire and emotional connection faded. They fought about whose "fault" it was, he sought therapy, and they tried to end things gradually, but it ended more abruptly after a heated argument. Now she's telling friends he put her in an impossible situation; he's left wondering if he was unreasonable. This episode explores intimacy, medical issues, trauma, guilt, and how young couples navigate big, painful challenges. Join us as we unpack the situation with empathy and honest questions.
- podcast· 2h 21m· S5E293
CASE 0513: How Many Heights Could a Wuthering Heights Wuther If a Wuthering Heights Could Wuther Heights?
DEFENDANT: Emily Brontë EVIDENCE: Goldschmidt Cabernet Sauvignon "Katherine" 2023 SCENE OF THE CRIME: The wild moors of Alexander Valley, Sonoma, CA -- Hey — settle in with a bowl of soup and a good glass, because this episode is equal parts wine tasting and literary sleuthing. We pop a bottle of Goldschmidt’s “Catherine” from Stonemason Hill in Alexander Valley (Sonoma), sniff out garnet color, black cherry and red‑plum fruit, a blueberry peak of ripeness, and a lovely stone‑like minerality with velvety tannins. It’s approachable, not pretentious, and sits in that sweet spot around $40 — perfect to bring to dinner or enjoy on a stormy night with friends (and a dog wedged between you). Then we tumble headfirst into Wuthering Heights: Emily Brontë’s 1847 Gothic whirlwind of obsession, class friction, and moor‑bound drama. We talk about Emily’s short, wild life, the Brontë family dynamics, the book’s thorny questions (are Catherine and Heathcliff half‑siblings? are they in love or simply
- podcast· 19:04· Ep 292
Sidebar Ep. 134: Bridgerton Season 4 React: Cinderella Redux or Lazy Writing?
Hi there. Welcome to another episode of True Crimes Against Wine. In this episode we dig into Bridgerton season 4 (first four episodes) with hot takes, spoilers, and a lot of laughs. We chat about the new heroine Sophie, Benedict’s surprise Cinderella arc, the show's heavy-handed nods to classic tropes (midnight, silver slippers, the whole shebang), and whether continuing the series past season three was a brilliant idea or a cash-grab mistake. We also talk casting, visual vibes, the recurring music covers, and the characters we wish got more screen time — especially Eloise. Join us as we rant, gush, and debate whether the show’s predictability ruins the fun or if pretty costumes and steamy scenes are still worth the watch.
- podcast· 2h 05m· S5E291
CASE 0512: Thar She Blows!
DEFENDANT: Herman Melville EVIDENCE: Melville Estate Pinot Noir SCENE OF THE CRIME: Santa Rita Hills, and the Big Blue Sea -- Hey friend — pour yourself a glass and come sit with us. In this episode Judge Topher and Judge Rachel finally introduce themselves (yes, really) and then proceed to hijack a $75 Santa Rita Hills Pinot Noir, talk glassware, sniff cherries, sage, pepper and a little eucalyptus, and declare that yes: this bottle is absolutely worth the fuss. We wander from tasting notes (garnet color, plums, violets, forest-floor complexity) to winery vibes — estate-grown, sustainable farming, family stories — then slip into full literary chaos as we roast, admire, and gently disembowel Herman Melville. Expect idle mutiny, a ridiculous cross‑examination quiz, surprising Melville facts (Mocha Dick!), and the sacred power of the line "Call me Ishmael." There’s a lot of laughing, a little spilled wine, a bonus boxed-Pinot for scientific — ahem, comparative — purposes, and lots of off
- podcast· 32:09· Ep 290
Sidebar Ep.133: Disco Balls, Chocolate Cocktails, and the Vomit Proposal
Hey friend — buckle up. This episode is peak messy and oddly heartwarming: imagine a Victorian house party with deceptive chocolate cocktails (they sneak up on you), a disco ball spin-off, and one of our hosts getting so tanked she ends up barfing in the shower. Classic. We also dig into the restaurant trenches — you know the ones: forced prix-fixe menus, last-minute menu swaps, entitled Valentine’s diners who stiff servers and act like their big romantic show excuses everything. If you ever wondered why hospitality folks roll their eyes at Feb 14, this episode explains it in gruesome detail. On the flip side, there’s a genuinely sweet chaos: a sneaky ring in a jacket pocket (disguised among empanadas, naturally), a bout of nausea from cigar smoke, and then—after showers and teeth-brushing—the perfect, quiet proposal at home. It’s hilarious and tender all at once: puke, pajamas, and a very sincere “will you?” We rant about how Valentine’s can be performative and cruel, celebrate Galent
- podcast· 21:16· Ep 286
People's Court Ep.05: Furry Fiasco
Hey — this episode unpacks a vacation that went horribly wrong: a 37-year-old narrator brings her partner, toddler and a 16-year-old dog to visit her parents, who are openly hostile to the aging pup. They repeatedly put the dog outside, dump its water, and make cruel comments about putting her down. The partner withdraws and spends time apart to protect the dog and avoid blowing up, while the narrator freezes because she's conflict-averse and has a fraught relationship with her dad. After they get back, family gossip paints the partner as rude, and the narrator is left asking who the biggest asshole really is. We cut right to it: the parents are the main problem. Depriving an elderly, anxious dog of water and comfort is cruel, and their passive-aggressive escalation — plus the mom's cruel comments — crossed basic lines. The partner's quiet protection felt reasonable, not disrespectful. If you were my friend, here’s the real talk: set boundaries. If your parents can’t treat your dog and
- podcast· 2h 11m· S5E285
CASE 0511: F-You Scott Fitzgerald
DEFENDANT: Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald EVIDENCE: Manos Special Edition Great Gatsby Sauvignon Blanc SCENE OF THE CRIME: Long Island -- Hey friend — come sit with us for a cozy, messy chat where wine and soup fuel a no-holds-barred re-read of The Great Gatsby. We get personal, a little loopy, and deeply into the weeds about Gatsby’s tragic love, Tom’s grossness, Daisy’s contradictions, and whether Nick was totally in love with his neighbor. Spoiler: feelings are messy and rich people are worse. Pop a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, lean back, and let us walk you through art-deco bottles, literary gossip, and cheating scandals — plus a surprisingly earnest defense of hand-painted wine labels. We talk Fitzgerald’s life (and terrible choices), Zelda’s shadow, speculative queer readings, and how the book manages to feel both glamorous and kind of rotten all at once. No fake facts here (well, maybe a few), lots of laughs, and zero pretension — just two pals getting hungry, distracted by soup, an
- podcast· 17:52· Ep 284
Sidebar Ep. 132: Domestic Partnership on the Rocks: A Dust-Up over Dishes
In this episode of True Crimes Against Wine, the hosts dive into a messy roommate-turned-partner dispute about chores. After three years together, a couple split household duties by a rota: feeding three picky cats, handling bills, cleaning litter, doing the washing up, hoovering, and more. Tension explodes when one partner fails to hoover and forgets to put a new toilet roll on the holder. The other partner comes home furious, calling the lapse a betrayal, which leads to name-calling and talk of moving out. The hosts unpack compatibility, expectations around cleanliness, gendered chore dynamics, and whether the couple’s split was inevitable. They tease more stories to come and invite listeners to send in their own juicy disputes.
- podcast· 2h 15m· S5E283
CASE 0510: New Money, Old Expectations
DEFENDANT: Gilded Age Decadence EVIDENCE: Biltmore Estate Reserve Chenin Blanc SCENE OF THE CRIME: The Biltmore Estate, Asheville, NC -- Hey friend — welcome back to True Crimes Against Wine for our first full episode of 2026! We’re sipping a slightly off-dry Chenin Blanc (surprise: from Biltmore in North Carolina), chatting about how it tastes like walking through a crisp apple orchard, debating whether monkeys belong at high-society parties, and diving headfirst into the Gilded Age — Mansions, dollar princesses, scandalous debutante balls, and the Vanderbilts’ iconic Biltmore Estate. We pair tasting notes (pear, honey, kiwi, and a lovely balancing acidity) with wild historical tangents, food pairing dreams (shishitos, spicy sausage, melon & prosciutto), and way too many fantasies about being wealthy eccentrics. If you love wine stories, architectural daydreams, and irreverent history deep dives, join us for laughs, snacks, and one judge-y quiz. Tell us your snack, your Biltmore memor
- podcast· 14:13· Ep 281
Sidebar Ep. 131: New Year, New Vintages, New Scandals
When wine is on trial, the gossip is dishy, the judges are drunk, the verdicts are random — welcome to True Crimes Against Wine and our first sidebar of 2026! Happy New Year, friend! We kicked off the episode riffing about nostalgia, then dove headfirst into what actually matters: what the next year (and beyond) looks like for wine. Quick take: climate shifts are pushing vineyards north and uphill, which means you’ll be tasting wines with brighter acidity instead of the old-school fruit bombs and heavy oak. Expect to see more accessible, interesting bottles from South America, New Zealand and Australia pop up in your grocery store — tariffs and global economics make Europe trickier right now. Small domestic winemakers are likely to adapt by offering more reserve and niche wines to protect margins, which could change what becomes mainstream over time. Heads-up: this stuff isn’t instant. Replanting vines and aging wines takes years — sometimes close to a decade for certain styles — so pr
- podcast· 10:14· Ep 279
People's Court Ep.04: Bride vs. Bridesmaid: One-Inch Hoops, Major Family Meltdown
Hey friend — welcome to our latest People’s Court episode where we dive into an Am I the Asshole post about a 19-year-old bridesmaid who finally got her ears pierced and wore one-inch silver hoops to her sister’s wedding, only to be called "trashy" and accused of disrespecting the bride. Spoiler: we’re not surprised by how wild this got. We walk through why that reaction felt wildly over the top — the bridesmaid is an adult making a small, tasteful choice, and calling your sibling trashy at your wedding? Cold. We compare it to the exact opposite energy of chill brides who gift matching earrings and set clear, reasonable boundaries, and we laugh (a little cruelly) about how dramatic family weddings can be. Have your own juicy wedding drama? The uncle who threw up, the brother-in-law who got handsy, or the cousin who caused a scene — we want to hear it. Send us your stories at truecrimesagainstwine@gmail.com or find us on TikTok and Instagram — we’ll read the best ones on the show and mi
- podcast· 1h 51m· S5E278
CASE 0508: Happy Holidays! Hope You Find Your Dad!
DEFENDANT: Buddy the Elf EVIDENCE: Manos Wines Special Edition "Elf" Prosecco SCENE OF THE CRIME: From the North Pole all the way to Manhattan and back again! -- Hey — glad you made it to our cozy chaos. This episode is basically two things: a heavy pour of festive Prosecco (shoutout to the blingy Manos bottle) and a full-on, goofy love letter to Elf — plus the ridiculous trivia and fan theories that make holiday movies feel like family. We talk traditions, awkward childhood rituals, terrible gift-control impulses, and why some of our favorite seasonal things still hit like warm nostalgia. We nerd out about Elf like it’s evidence in a case: Jon Favreau’s direction, Will Ferrell’s enormous golden-retriever energy, Zooey Deschanel’s surprise musical cameo, James Caan’s grumpy-dad groove, and even that weird Central Park ranger theory that adds a darker layer if you let it. There are shower scenes, department store mayhem, real-life crowd reactions caught on film, and a few production eas
- podcast· 32:07· Ep 276
Sidebar Ep.130: Honeymoon Hiccups & Highland Magic
Join Judge Rachel and Topher as they relive a delightfully chaotic honeymoon in Edinburgh — from a misbooked Highlands tour that turned into an unexpected adventure, to candlelit luxury at The Witchery and a surprise Muppet Christmas Carol live orchestra. This episode is full of humor, heartfelt moments, and travel mishaps (yes, a bus mix-up that might have saved their lives). If you love stories about how travel plans go sideways and still manage to become the best memories, you'll feel like you're right there with them sipping wine, spotting Highland cows, and hunting for Nessie. Packed with castle strolls, underground tours, secret gardens, and plenty of sarcasm, this sidebar is the perfect post-trip debrief to listen to with a friend.
- podcast· 2h 01m· S5E275
CASE 0507: Play It Again, Mr. Zebra Man
DEFENDANT: Tori Amos EVIDENCE: Cloud Watcher California Red Blend SCENE OF THE CRIME: "The Finest Vineyards in California" -- Hey friend — welcome to the chaos: we opened a grocery-store red called Cloud Watcher (hello, green-pepper nose and dark-plum cocoa vibes), wrestled over a billion points in Corrections Corner, and brought our dog Hermes along to supervise. We sip, we sigh, and we trade childhood-cloud stories while debating whether cloud-watching is relaxing or suspiciously boring. Then things get deliciously melodic because our “defendant” today is Tori Amos. We peel back her origin story — piano prodigy at Peabody, early L.A. band experiments, exile to the UK, and the piano-driven masterpiece Little Earthquakes — and run through highlights from Choirgirl Hotel to Boys for Pele, Night of Hunters and beyond. There’s talk of kazoo deep cuts, mood rings, curly hair aesthetics, and why Tori’s lyrics made us fall in love with poetry all over again. Of course we couldn’t resist a ga
- podcast· 18:07· Ep 273
Sidebar Ep. 129: Witchery & Walks: Our Scotland Honeymoon, Curated by Topher
Hey friend — grab a cup of something warm because this episode is basically a cozy love letter to Scotland and the chaos of planning the perfect honeymoon. I’m getting married (yes, Mrs. Fiance—probably?), and Topher — now a travel advisor extraordinaire — planned our whole week in Edinburgh as a wedding gift. He went full curator mode, balancing our must-dos (spooky tunnels? yes please) and the slow, wandering days we actually want to enjoy. We talk about staying put in Edinburgh as our base, skipping the long car treks and islands that would eat half our trip, and instead taking smart day trips and local tours. There’s a historical scavenger-hunt app to help us get our bearings without being rushed, haunted tours that end in dungeons (adults only, thank goodness), and a smidge of golf-related comedy because apparently my honeymoon could’ve been miniature-golf therapy for life choices. Topher’s approach was so thoughtful — he curated the trip around what we genuinely love: walking the
- podcast· 1h 57m· S5E272
CASE 0507: "Raymond Raymond Raymond!"
DEFENDANT: Everybody Loves Raymond EVIDENCE: Raymond Cellars Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon SCENE OF THE CRIME: Long Island -- Hey friend — grab a glass and get comfy. In this episode of True Crimes Against Wine we swap the usual table wine for a lush, decanted Raymond Sellers Cabernet Sauvignon (yes, the reserve — velvety label, 14.5% sass included) and spend the episode pairing big-flavor wine notes with bigger TV drama: the sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond. We talk vineyard history (Napa’s underdog moment and the Bottle Shock story), decanting tips, and the gorgeous, peppery, black-cherry notes of this super-balanced Cab that the hosts absolutely adore. Then the banter turns to the Barone family: the show’s charm, its most cringe-worthy tropes (the “incompetent husband” bit and how sitcom conventions can sneak into real life), and the cast’s standout performances — from Marie’s manipulative, loving energy to Frank’s grumpy heart and Robert’s deadpan magic. Expect hot takes on Patricia Hea
- podcast· 15:06· Ep 271
Sidebar Ep. 128: Soup & Sips: Cozy Wine Pairings for Every Bowl
Hey! If we're being honest, soup season is basically the best season — cozy sweaters, warm bowls, and yes, perfectly paired wine. I had so much fun chatting through these with Topher and dreaming up combos that actually make the soup sing (and sometimes calm the heat from sriracha). Here are the highlights, like I’m telling you over a bowl on my kitchen counter.Chili: Go fuller-bodied. Think an Argentinian or Chilean Malbec — it’s got that smoky, peppery vibe and enough fruit to stand up to tomato tang, meatiness, and bean earthiness. Imagine cornbread, chili, and a glug of Malbec — chef’s kiss.Pho: Versatile depending on how you dress it, but a slightly off-dry Gewürztraminer is brilliant if you load it up with heat (it tames spice). If you’re keeping it clean and herb-forward, a crisp rosé is unexpectedly perfect — light, refreshing, and matches the broth without overpowering the basil and cilantro.Bread-bowl French Onion: Rich, savory, and cheesy — you want something that complement